Position:
Booger Assistant
Salary:
None, but comes with a very good cuddle and hugs package
Description:
Assists employer with complex booger extraction process. Must be willing to follow orders and not take it personally when being bossed around during the process . Motivated and patient individuals are preferable. No work experience necessary. A Booger Assistant is subject to call at any hour.
Job Status:
Filled. Check back in 15 years. Position may reopen again.
Note from current incumbent:
Although my employer is learning to wipe her own nose, I'm always armed with a pack of tissues just in case. Sometimes, after a very good day at school, it looks like there's a Halloween party in her nostrils. We would sit in front of the bathroom mirror and discuss techniques how to extract one spectacular piece out. Most of the time, I'd just want to grab it, but she stops me with the calm of a zen master. She then proceeds to work on her own. As an assistant, you are required to cheer on the side and you always have to be ready to receive the precious piece for proper disposal. Sometimes, when you are not paying attention, she will run out and leave you with a new accessory on your shirt. The trick here is not to react by howling in disgust. Rather, take it off in a calm manner without showing any emotions. Because if you do, expect a maniacal laughter from your employer and the run-by-boogering will be repeated.